As you know I blogged last week about an overnight change in oscars behaviour and increase of anxiety, he was overwhelmed with the sudden pick up of tempo, it was literally as soon as we got into December , he was head banging in the car again which is an old behaviour , showing increased anxiety , he had also deliberately banged his mouth on the floor at school making his mouth bleed and attacked a teacher and three children, all behavipurs mean I can’t cope , he lashes out , at home in our bubble we can sometimes desculate this ,and on the days he’s feeling less able to cope I take measures that I know calm him down , no volume on the tv , little interaction, lots of comfort , his black out tent, full of soft toys and glow sticks should he need to shut the world out to regulate himself , sometimes I sit back and think he’s my most resilient child , he does at points manage to regulate himself, which at 5 years old shows real strength , I do honestly think kids with autism are stronger, everything is harder for them , nothing comes easy they work for everything , and yes it’s all they know that’s true but as his mum I do get sad for him , has he ever felt calm and in control ? I know that he experiences his own happy as he shows me this, he isn’t a sad boy , he’s frustrated and it’s my job to give him every tool he needs to make sense of the world and communicate with us .
Because of last weeks antics, I had written December off total , last year was awful , it’s the build up of Christmas everywhere’s busier by actual Christmas he’s usually fine as you tend to shut the world out by then and he’s happy at home or with family .
But to my surprise this week he’s really calm like he’s accepted the changes , waiting in traffic today no problems , eating more again after being so poorly for three weeks , accepting me leaving him at school, not saying goodbye but knowing I’m leaving him and running off to play, could it be that he lost it there last week but they managed it so now he feels safe? Or is he building tolerances to change due to good routine and positive reinforcement?
whatever it is I’m enjoying this kind of December , plus because I panicked I’m also almost done for shopping ,so actually I’ve adapted too I feel , I expected the worst but hoped for the best, could it have paid off?….
