Dont get me wrong the joys there, his smile, his presence the way he’s excited over something that isn’t new, because he did it the day before he explores books like it’s the first time he’s seen it , the things I know can calm him down that make him happy again , the small things are to me joyous as it reminds me he does know me we do have a bond , but his emotions are so disorganised , it’s heartbreaking at times, playing yesterday he started really sobbing, I said hey what’s wrong he said, me sad, he was so sad just for a few seconds, then with a click he was fine and that’s why I feel you need to find that joy , you have to create an environment were your child feels able to express themselves being sad is ok , it’s ok to show how you feel autistic kids need to be fed confidence to be able to express themselves happy or sad , if finding joy for me is easy as I have a little word with myself if I’m on a downer , but for Autism I feel sometimes he’s not sure what his emotions are ! or they might be heightened so it can come across as an overreaction, or over excited or very upset for something very small or no reaction whatso ever! It’s called emotional deregulation, and my child has this, and it’s a massive pain in the arse, and heartbreaking but we’re in therapy and we’re working hard at home with visual clues, and there are improvements and this for me is everything as ,I want all three of my children to be emotionally well balanced, as they can be for who they are, there not all going to fit into the same box in personality or how they manage stress or emotion as adults so it’s inportant I find to allow flexability for there personalities as well, for instance my non autistic son is a very highly strung emotional wreck to be honest at times! And Oscar may be too who knows but there is regulation there which is important, to know how you feel! It’s a different story of how you choose to deal with that , but to identify anger, sadness, happiness joy even ,is a good starting block so this is the long term goal for Oscar over all, with lots of smaller goals like stepping stones to get him there , we are building slowly .
i find myself engineering the environment for Oscar to try and keep him in that constant state of ok ,which is constant and misunderstood by others in the house, it could be seen , others can’t do anything right!!!!!! but I know my child and can read him like an open book , I don’t always get it right I’m not saying that, but I do feel I need to create the mood it can be as simple as changing the toys round or what’s on tv in his ear shot, can change his mood from anxious to being ok again .
you see anxiety leads Oscars mood and behaviour ,and although he is medicated he sometimes is unable to function, depending on the environment he is in so for me as his mum if I can pre plan or be extra alert to what could trigger him, then that’s what I will do , as I can’t control his emotional state once he is in it but I can maintain it .
And it’s tough going dealing with emotional meltdowns they come in waves with Oscar and he can be very fistructive and violent .
The key for my joy finding is set goals that are achievable, in realistic timeframes that way I have lowered my expectations and it’s likely we exceed them this brings joy , the small things are huge with Autism as nothing’s given and we celebrate every first no matter how tiny and try our very best to .
oscars journey so far overall I have enjoyed him I can’t say I haven’t , it’s been different, I’ve had to be really brave at times letting him go a bit when I didn’t want too I wasn’t ready , we have met some wonderful people that have imprinted in my heart forever , so it’s a strange one as he hasn’t hit any of his milestones in target except walking which was actually running at ten months old! But in other ways he has blown us away with his own progress and journey so far and he’s super clever
So yes to conclude
there is defiantly joy here
